An assortment of words and phrases as typed by me. It's not that I have anything to say, I just love the sound of my own typing...
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Children. Show all posts

Friday, 22 October 2010

Monthly Journal Oct 2010

Malcolm and Jola’s Monthly Journal

October 2010

“Haven’t I always done everything you asked me?”
- Destiny’s Child

Warm salutations!

Welcome back.  When I wrote the last Monthly Journal I was feeling a bit lazy.  I guess I didn’t know just how lazy I would be.  It has taken only six months to write this Monthly Journal.  Of course I’d like you to think that we haven’t written it because we have been too busy.  But that is simply not true.  It doesn’t actually take much effort to write one of these things…  But I’m getting side-tracked.

Since last April a great many things have happened in our little lives.  The biggest thing that happened of course was summer.  One of the most wonderful things about being a teacher is that we get a two month summer holiday every year.  It is just a pity that we are casual teachers and we don’t actually get paid for those precious six weeks or so in the sun.  This year we went to the Mazurian lakes.  There are a few nice pictures here: http://malcolmguy.blogspot.com/2010/08/back-from-holidays.html

Daddy and Chris kicking the water

Also check out some photos of our kids playing in the sun: http://malcolmguy.blogspot.com/2010/07/not-wishing-for-winter.html

Over summer we bought ourselves a car.  We decided to take the plunge when we discovered the cost of using public transport to get to our holiday.  It was cheaper to buy a car (including insurance and gas) than to take the train/bus to our holiday place.  The kids like us having a car because now we don’t have to walk to the shops all the time.  Also we have been able to take a few trips into the surrounding countryside.  I’d love to drive a bit further (eg to the Czech Republic and Germany), but the price of petrol is still quite high here and Ela gets car sick too easily.  Not to mention that I am still waiting for my permanent visa.

Exploring Legnica the easy way

Now there is a story.  In June we applied for my permanent visa.  We filled in all of the forms, submitted all of our documents, had our ‘Green Card’ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099699/ style interview and we were waiting for the final decision when we were (very politely) informed that we had actually applied too early and that we had to submit all of the documents again.  We were not happy; and are still waiting to hear back from the second application.

Talking about applications, Jola finished her Masters and scored top marks.  We are very proud of her!  Now she is a Master of Teaching (or something like that).

My two girls sleeping in a tent

Jola has started her new job as an English speaking pre-school teacher at Happy Kids (There are a few photos of her and her group at this website http://akademiahappykids.pl/przedszkolejezykowe/ - just click on ‘Galeria’).  She seems to be enjoying it.  Apparently her class is the best behaved.  This is obviously because she is the best teacher (maybe I’m just biased).  It has meant a few changes for us.  This is the first time since we have been married that she has had a full time job.  Mostly it means that I am stuck at home by myself during the day.

The kids have started pre-school at Kubus Puchatek http://puchatek19.pl/ For the most part they are loving it.  Little Chris had a few issues with missing mummy and daddy (mostly daddy), but now is doing much better.  But having said that, they have spent two weeks at home because they caught various bugs from the other school kids.  Fortunately they didn’t catch chicken pox when all of the other children did (our kids were immunised when they were younger).

My little MasterChefs

We also have a new flat now, which is wonderful.  Our old flat was cheap and cold and not very nice.  Our new flat is nice and warm and 250 zloty more expensive.  Actually it’s kind of funny because we are renting from mine and Jola’s boss’s parents.  So our boss pays us and then we pay their parents most of our wages the next day.  We feel a bit like serfs…

You can see our block of flats second from top and the kids pre-school is the T shaped building on the bottom


I think that that’s about all I can write about at the moment.  If you have any questions, then send us an email   (we like emails)

Malcolm, Jola, Ela & Chris

Sunday, 17 October 2010

Saturday Night and Sunday Morning

Apologies to Phil Collins for borrowing his song title for my blog post.

We have had a pretty tough week.  I guess these things happen every now and then.

We had planned to travel 150kms to Wrocław to a conference yesterday.  In fact we had been planning to go for two weeks.  But somehow everything seemed to go wrong.  The first ominous sign was that all the maps on my GPS became corrupted.  The kids were ridiculously disobedient as we were getting ready (partly explicable by the fact that they had had bad colds for all last week and haven't been sleeping properly).  It was so bad that as I was walking to the car (only 45 minutes later than planned) I was praying to God "God, if you don't want us to go, then give us a sign!"  Then the sign came: the car wouldn't start; the battery was dead.  My wonderful wife (who was strangely annoyed) tried to get the help of one of the other drivers in the car-park, but no-one was willing to help.
And so we didn't get to go to Wrocław.


The view from my balcony this morning.  Yes, the bird is plastic.


The Bible says that 'all things work together for the good of those who love Him' (Romans 8:28).  But sometimes it doesn't make sense.

So instead of going to Wrocław we stayed at home; the kids played (mostly nicely); Jola dragged me to the shops to buy some winter shoes; I got to read some more of my book and think about NaNoWriMo.

Sorry that this is not a very positive post.  I guess we all come under clouds from time to time.  But every cloud has a silver lining; so here's hoping for a very silvery next week (a bit like the blue skies that I can see outside my window at the moment)

Thursday, 1 July 2010

Not wishing for winter

This post is a response to my friend Kathy's post here


For the last week or so in Poland, the weather has been fantastic.  At times I find it hard to believe that only four months ago the temperature was struggling to reach minus 10.


I do not miss the winter.  Not at all.



(Not even a little bit)

Monday, 22 June 2009

Mal & Jolas Monthly Journal

JUNE 2009

“Dance, dance, dance…“
- Lykke Li

Hello friends,

Can you believe that it’s already June? The end of the Australian financial year, the end of the Polish school year (actually I started writing this about a month ago, I’ve been slack). We are almost half way through the year now; and about 95% of the way through the decade. I wonder what this decade will be referred to as in the future: probably the two thousands, as the norties sounds a bit contrived.

A lot has happened since the last journal:
- Easter
- Ela’s Birthday
- Jola’s exams
- School
- Oliver and Rebekah Jessup visited us
- We went to Prague
- More school
- Surfing the net
- Et-cetera

(Ela blowing out her birthday candles)

Part of the reason that this Monthly Journal is so late is that we have been quite ill with a number of different things. Personally I partly blame the weather (it has been manic) and our students (I’m sure we caught something off the couple of hundred people that we teach between us).
But anyway, if we went into too much detail explaining what has happened, then I would get sore fingers, so I thought I would just explain what happened yesterday. A bit like a day in the life of the Guy family…

Saturday the 20th of June 2009. Jelenia Góra, Poland

We woke up at about 7 in the morning when Chris decided it was time that he got out of bed. Because his cot is still in our bedroom, he likes to wake us up by throwing his blanket and teddies at us. It is normally quite effective. Fortunately he went into the lounge room and played quietly by himself for half an hour or so until Ela woke up. When Ela wakes up she is less quiet. She normally goes and plays with Chris for a short time and then comes into our room and wakes us up for a second time; normally by climbing on us or asking for juice.

Because Jola had school that day, she got up, dressed the kids and generally did all the things that good wives and mothers should. whilst her favourite husband rested his weary eyes...

Anyhow, Jola went to school at about 9 am and Daddy and the kids had the house to themselves. The kids played very nicely with their new scrap books. Ela asked for a screaming out (a colouring-in picture from the laser printer) of a dinosaur and they each coloured in very happily until about 10 am. At 10 am it was time for morning tea. Daddy wanted to give the children a banana, but Ela said she had a full tummy for bananas, and wanted a biscuit instead. Daddy, who is the master of negotiation, gave them some jelly with apple instead (that we had made on Friday because the kids weren’t eating the apples).

(A random picture of Chris getting ready to eat)

After the kids had finished eating their morning tea (it’s amazing how quickly kids eat fruit after it has been cooked and put in jelly), we went to the shops. Kids love going to the shops, and so does Daddy. We went to Kaufland which is a medium sized supermarket within walking distance of our home. Chris sat in the pram and Daddy and Ela walked. On the way, Ela sang Christmas songs over and over again - it was great.
Kaufland is not a very interesting shop. But the kids made it very interesting. They sat in the trolley and played with the groceries. Somehow they managed to build a tower out of mayonnaise and pasta sauce jars. Then Chris opened a chocolate bar and, whilst Daddy was looking for a glue stick, he tried to climb out of the trolley. One of the problems with Kaufland though is that the aisles are quite narrow, so we have to push the trolley down the middle of the aisle so that little fingers don’t touch/get the items of the shelves (much to the annoyance of other shoppers).

On the way home we stopped and played at a little park (there are about ten little parks within walking distance of our home) where Ela met a new friend. They played in the sandpit and made pretend cakes and food. Captain Rhubarb was happier climbing on the see-saw and sliding on the slide (our little monkey loves climbing, whenever he sees a ladder he goes up it – which is not always a good thing…) Ela’s little friend also did a wee next to a tree, which, unfortunately, has inspired her to want to do the same.

We got home from shopping at 12:30. Just in time for Daddy to cook pasta for dinner. Unfortunately he forgot to buy mince meat and he bought the wrong vegetables (let’s just say that the children were a little distracting in the shops). But the kids ate it anyway – they love pasta. Whilst Daddy was cooking dinner and washing the dishes Ela played Pet Society on Facebook and Chris played with his toy animals. When they are separated they play very nicely and quietly.

After dinner, Chris collected his cars, picked up his blanket, and went to bed. He is very attached to his blanket and likes to have it close to him all through the day. Fortunately he doesn’t want to take it outside with him.

Whilst Chris was sleeping, Daddy and Ela made cherry jelly. We were given about four kilo’s of cherries from Jola’s parents, but unfortunately they were starting to go bad. So in order to make the kids eat them, we pitted them and made some jelly. Ela loves cooking (if you can call making jelly cooking) and stirring things (Part of the reason that we didn’t eat them is because we also got about 2 kilo’s of strawberries at the same time).

After Captain Rhubarb woke up we went and played outside again. The kids met some more new friends. Ela always surprises the other kids with how well she can speak English (and her Polish is getting better too). Ela and Chris both had ice cream in a cone. Unfortunately Chris’s Ice cream fell on the ground and then he started stepping in it.

(Only a two year old fully understands the joy of ice-cream cones!)

Jola came home from Uni at about 6 and was quite happy to lay down and rest after the whole day of sitting on her bottom. I (Jola) was supposed to have an exam, but somebody stuffed something up and our teacher felt so guilty about it that without making us sit the exam he gave everybody A’s. Easy peasy lemon squeezy J

At 7 the kids watched their cartoons, ate their supper, brushed their teeth and got ready for bed.
Mummy and Daddy then had some time to themselves. Jola was supposed to study for her exams the next day, but she was feeling a bit tired so we watched some episodes of Scrubs instead.

And that’s the end of the story!

Thank you to the twenty four people from five different countries who have visited my blog (Malcolm’s Occasional Rant: http://malcolmguy.blogspot.com ).

Remember, if you are on Facebook ( http://www.facebook.com/malcolm.guy ) or Nasza-Klasa, then look us up and be our friends. If you have Skype then send us your Skype address (our Skype address is malcolmjola).
Feel free to email us and tell us your own stories (and even send some pictures)

Best Regards,

Malcolm (mostly), Jola, Elizabeth & Christopher Guy

Monday, 20 April 2009

Dictionary of words and phrases regularly used in our house...

I thought that I would briefly summarise some of the words and phrases used in our house so that if any of you should decide to visit us, you will understand what is going on:

ROOOAARR!!! - A dinosaur being hungry and/or trying to tickle another toy
RA - A dinosaur talking to it's friends
HOOHOO - a dog (often also pronounced: Hmph, Hmph)
BAW - a ball
POO-POO - Words associated with potty, toilet, full nappies
MNUM MNUM - I'm Hungry
P'HUH! - This is yucky - normally related to things found outside
BAA-BAA - a sheep
MAMA - Mummy
TATA - Daddy
LALA - Ela
PAPA - Goodnight, Goodbye
GO - either as a question or a statement



The following are regular conversations that take place:

1. When Daddy is in the shower
Ela: Knock Knock
Daddy: Who's there?
Ela: It's Ela
Daddy: What do you want?
Ela: I want you to give me something/help me with something/take something off Becky
Daddy: I'm in the shower now, wait until I come out
- Wait for 30 seconds and then repeat ad-nausea

But it is better than the alternative:
Ela: NO!
Chris: WAAAHHH!!
Daddy: Ela, give it back to him!
- Wait for 30 seconds and then repeat ad-nausea

2. This sequence of events is not uncommon:
Chris: * Sounds of high pitched gibberish accompanied by fast footsteps
Table/Chris: Two Thumps (sometimes three)
Chris: WAAAHHH!!!
Definition: Chris had just covered his head with his blanket and run into the table or the wall - again

3: (No Comment)
Daddy/Mummy: Ela, please pick up your pencils of the floor
Ela: WAAAAHHH!!! DON'T TELL ME OFF!!!

Additional Information:
Our son has the legal name of Christopher, but we often refer to him as Captain Rhubarb or Becky Bucket. We are often asked how this came about...

- When Baby Chris was still in his Mummy's tummy, we called him Rybek, which sounds a bit like the Polish word for fish (Ryba)
- When he was born we named him Christopher (Chris), but Ela kept calling him Bek (Because she couldn't say Rybek or Chris)
- Eventually this became Beky, because the 'Y' made it sound cuter.
- There is a cartoon in Australia called Becky Bucket, so we called him this because it sounded cool (I love alliteration)
- Eventually Becky Bucket transformed into Becky Boo, and then into Becky Boo Bah, before finally it had evolved into Boo Bah!
- Boo bah sounds a bit like Rhubarb. But Rhubarb isn't really a name.
- And so, when Captain Rhubarb was about 18 months old, we gave him the name of Captain Rhubarb

Thursday, 16 April 2009

How I Discipline my children - Part 1

Part 1: Should I use Corporal Punishment?

Introduction/Disclaimer
Note: I have prepred this document for MY OWN BENEFIT. If you agree or disagree with any of the points raised, then feel free to tell me. However don’t even pretend to think that I am telling YOU what to do. You can read, which means that you are capable of salient thought. Or in other words: make up your own mind.
I have tried to include all relevant supporting evidence, but if you think/feel I have missed something or misinterpreted something, then feel free to advise me (it doesn’t mean that I will change my mind).
All scripture references are taken from the King James Version, mostly because that is the version that I have on my computer with links to the Strongs Dictionary. I suggest that you read the verses in a version that you feel comfortable with.

I am the father of two wonderful children (this is a biased statement based purely on personal judgement) and it is my intention to raise them in the best manner possible. I believe that imperfect parents cannot raise perfect children; but I’m going to give it my best shot. Also, as a Christian, I would like to raise my children according to the principles given in the Bible (hence there will be a lot of scripture verses in here).

I was inspired to write/compile this information due to recent proposed legislation here in Poland. Esentially the government is intending to legislate that it is illegal for parents to use corporal punishment. We have discussed this with a number of people here in Poland, and they seem to suggest that Christians should ignore this law and raise their children according to what is written in the Bible. Therefore I have been presented with a decision: Either obey the law of the country, or obey what is contained in the Bible. But before I can decide which law I will obey, I must first discover for myself exactly what the Bible says about corporal punishment as a method for disciplining children.


What does the Bible say about discipline?
The following are pertinent scripture verses. I have shown the verse with my conclusions shown below each verse:

Proverbs 22:6
6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
(This verse suggests that a parent or guardian can have an impact on their childs life if they train their child. This is logical and makes sense)

Proverbs 3:11-12
11 ¶My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:
12 For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
(These verses liken the chastening of the LORD to the discipline that a father gives his child. No child likes discipline, but then neither do adults. These verses also suggest that you only discipline people that you love or are responsible for. Again this makes complete sense)

Proverbs 29:17
17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
(An obedient child will definitely give a father rest)

Proverbs 19:18
18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
(This verse suggests that chastening or discipline should start before the child starts developing wrong ideas or bad habits. Most discipline involves providing a negative outcome in response to a child’s negative action. This invariably causes tears even when no harm is done to the child)

It is quite clear from the above verses that the Bible suggests that if you discipline/chasten a child properly and lovingly, the child will grow up to be obedient and disciplined.

I note that however that most of the scriptures about discipline are in Proverbs, which is a book largely attributed to King Solomon. King Solomon was a wise and wealthy king of Israel, but he didn’t end his life as well as he could have (1 Kings 11). Maybe he should have listened to his own advice? Maybe when a child becomes an adult, they become responsible for their own decisions/actions?

How should I discipline my children?
Proverbs 13:24
24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Proverbs 22:15
15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13-14
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 29:15
15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Well. That appears quite clear doesn’t it. But before I head off to the nearest supermarket to buy a rod, it might be a good idea to find out what it actually is.
The Hebrew word used here for rod is shebet:
(Strongs number 7626) shebet shay'-bet from an unused root probably meaning to branch off; a scion, i.e. (literally) a stick (for punishing, writing, fighting, ruling, walking, etc.) or (figuratively) a clan:--X correction, dart, rod, sceptre, staff, tribe.
Or in other words, a rod is literally a stick used for many things including punishing, writing, fighting, ruling (I assume this is not the drawing straight lines kind of ruling), walking etc.
But who uses such a stick? Obviously someone who spends his/her time punishing, writing, fighting, ruling and (from time to time) walking. Or in other words, someone in authority. So, what if a person’s rod represented his/her authority?

Another good way to determine what a word usually means is by seeing how this word is used in other places. Therefore I have found some additional verses in the Old Testament (outside of Proverbs) that use the word rod (shebet) and I have tried to garner fuller meaning from these passages.

Job 9:34
34 Let him take his rod away from me, and let not his fear terrify me:
(This is Job talking about God. God never used a physical stick to beat Job with, however Job felt that God was punishing him. So in this context, rod means punishment)

Job 21:9
9 Their houses are safe from fear, neither is the rod of God upon them.
(This is Job talking to his friends about wicked people. It appears again that the rod of God is the punishment of God)

2 Samuel 7:14
14 I will be his father, and he shall be my son. If he commit iniquity, I will chasten him with the rod of men, and with the stripes of the children of men:
(This is God talking to David about Solomon (funnily enough). I don’t think God ever used a physical rod, so again the word rod here refers to punishment)

Psalms 2:7-9
7 I will declare the decree: the LORD hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.
8 Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.
9 Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.
(This is God talking to Jesus, telling Him that he will break the nations with a rod of iron. Again, this rod is clearly not physical or literal, but figurative and represents punishment)

Psalm 23:4
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
(here David is talking to God. How can a rod bring comfort if it is only for punishment? It must also represent authority – a staff is known to represent guidance)

Psalm 89:30-37
30 If his children forsake my law, and walk not in my judgments;
31 If they break my statutes, and keep not my commandments;
32 Then will I visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.
33 Nevertheless my lovingkindness will I not utterly take from him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail.
34 My covenant will I not break, nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.
35 Once have I sworn by my holiness that I will not lie unto David.
36 His seed shall endure for ever, and his throne as the sun before me.
37 It shall be established for ever as the moon, and as a faithful witness in heaven. Selah.
(This is God talking again. The word rod clearly relates to punishment as opposed to a physical stick. Verses 36 and 37 refer to Jesus, who bore our transgressions and iniquity on the cross. Is there a connection between this rod and the death of Jesus on the cross?)

Psalm 125:2-3
2 As the mountains are round about Jerusalem, so the LORD is round about his people from henceforth even for ever.
3 For the rod of the wicked shall not rest upon the lot of the righteous; lest the righteous put forth their hands unto iniquity.
(Here the word rod seems to suggest affliction. It is interesting to read the second part of verse 3. These verses suggest that if undue punishment (how else would you define the punishment/affliction of the wicked) is given to those that are righteous, then even those that are righteous may turn to iniquity. Does this mean that if we as parents give undue punishment to our children, then our children will also turn to iniquity? Probably)

I think I’ll stop there. It appears to me that the Hebrew word SHEBET, meaning ROD is used primarily to indicate punishment from one with authority. I have not found any other scriptures that use this word shebet to indicate a physical stick with the primary purpose of smacking children’s bottoms.

So, let’s have another look at those scriptures from Proverbs, except instead of using the word ROD I will use the idea of punishment from someone in authority.

Proverbs 13:24
24 He that DOES NOT PUNISH HIS SON hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Proverbs 22:15
15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but PUNISHMENT FROM SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 29:15
15 The PUNISHMENT FROM SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

All of the above verses make perfect sense when the word ROD is replaced with the idea of PUNISHMENT, and do not necessarily dictate the use of physical punishment.

However the following verses in Proverbs 23 do seem to suggest that physical punishment is required:

Proverbs 23:13-14
13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

The word BEAT that is used here has the following definition in Hebrew:
(Strongs number 5221) nakah naw-kaw' a primitive root; to strike (lightly or severely, literally or figuratively):--beat, cast forth, clap, give (wounds), X go forward, X indeed, kill, make (slaughter), murderer, punish, slaughter, slay(-er, -ing), smite(-r, -ing), strike, be stricken, (give) stripes, X surely, wound.

Or in other words verse 13 says: Do not withhold correction from your child. If you strike him/her (lightly or severely, literally or figuratively), then he/she will not die.
(of course if you use the extended meaning of this word, ie. slay, smite, kill; then the child will probably die and you will go to jail for child abuse or murder).
Does this mean that the parent has a choice? I think it does; they can strike the child either literally or figuratively. Or in other words, it is up to the parents of the child to determine the best way to punish.

Verse 14 is clearly intended to be figurative. Nowhere else in the scriptures does it advise being beaten as a method of escaping hell.

But wait! I remember that in Exodus there is also a lot of talk about rods (i.e. Moses had a rod, Aaron had a rod, almost everyone seemed to have a rod), but this physical stick was the Hebrew word matteh, not shebet:
(Strongs number 4294) matteh mat-teh' or (feminine) mattah {mat-taw'}; from 5186; a branch (as extending); figuratively, a tribe; also a rod, whether for chastising (figuratively, correction), ruling (a sceptre), throwing (a lance), or walking (a staff; figuratively, a support of life, e.g. bread):--rod, staff, tribe. see HEBREW for 05186

What else does Proverbs say about rods and physical punishment?
Proverbs 10:13
13 In the lips of him that hath understanding wisdom is found: but a rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding.

Proverbs 19:29
29 Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools.

Proverbs 26:3
3 A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.

These three verses clearly suggest physical punishment. And they all suggest that physical punishment is to be used for those without understanding (or fools). I don’t know about you, dear reader, but my children are not fools. These verses do not say that the rod (or as discussed, punishment) should be used on the back of a child. These verses suggest to me that if someone has understanding (or if someone can be given understanding), then physical punishment is not required or necessary.

What does the New Testament say about disciplining children?
Ephesians 6:1-4
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
3 That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

1 Timothy 3:2-5
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

These two passages seem to confirm my understanding of the Old Testament regarding the discipline of children.
It is the responsibility of the father (with assistance from the mother) to raise the children. They are to raise their children using both nurture and admonition. Where nurture is providing the child what it needs and admonition is providing direction and discipline.
1 Timothy 3:3 also requires that a bishop/elder is not a striker (also means quarrelsome in the greek). Does this also mean that he should not strike/argue with his children?
Ephesians 6:1-2 suggests that it is also the responsibility of the child to obey their parents. It is not the parents’ responsibility to beat the children into submission, especially when the child is old enough to understand the consequences of their own actions.

What about empirical research?
It is difficult to find research in this area which is not biased. Most individuals/organisations which have researched the effects of corporal punishment on children set out to prove that their hypothesis is correct. There are only a limited number of studies done with the purpose of detailing the outcomes as opposed to proving a point.
Because each of these studies contains so much information, I have simply provided a web link to enable you to peruse these at your own leisure: http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin20.htm

The main findings that I wish to raise from these articles are:
1. There is a clear relationship between using physical forms of punishment with immediate/quick obedience by the child
2. There is not a clear relationship between using physical forms of punishment with the child’s ability to decide for him/herself what is right and what is wrong
3. There seems to be a genetic link that suggests that violence in parents is handed down to their children
4. There seems to be a relationship between physical forms of punishment and an increase in the long term chances of developing mental and/or emotional disorders

There are so many different things which affect how a child grows up. Discipline is only one of these things. As such, none of the studies can say unequivocally that physical punishment as part of a parents discipline program causes harm to a child in the long run. However on the reverse side, the studies do indicate that children who receive physical forms of punishment do not behave considerably better as adults than children who do not receive physical forms of punishment.

If it was the will of God that children should be punished solely using physical means, as opposed to other non-physical means, then there would be a clear correlation between children receiving physical punishment and better behaviour as adults. However this is simply not the case; if anything there is a slight negative correlation.
In conclusion:
The Bible teaches that we should bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. There is no doubt in my mind that it is the responsibility of the parents to discipline their children. There is also no doubt in the common press: Parents should discipline their children. There is no argument about this. The Bible is very clear and the positive effects of discipline are evident for all to see.
However, based on the few verses in Proverbs that are so often quoted, I do not believe that the Bible clearly states that parents should use a physical rod for delivering punishment.
I accept that I am not God, and that I will not be able to raise my children perfectly. I also accept that I will not always know what the correct punishment for my children should be. I do not want to punish my children unduly so that they turn to iniquity (Psalm 125:3).
This, coupled with the empirical evidence I have perused, and the fact that it may soon be illegal to use physical punishment on children here in Poland has led me to conclude that it is better for me and my family if we did not use physical forms of punishment as part of the process of discipline that our children will undertake.

Saturday, 3 January 2009

New Years rant

Hello, and welcome to 2009. The main purpose of this entry is to ensure that my site remains fresh and cheery :)

So far the new year has been rather exciting. Today for example I played in the snow with my kids for about an hour. It was great fun and we only came inside after Chris face planted himself into the snow. He thought it was great fun, but because I don't want him to catch a cold we had to come inside. Unfortunately this caused Ela to break into tears. Anyone would think she had never played in the snow before...

Of course there is nothing like a child screaming to bring the attention of the neighbours...
What is it with elderly Polish ladies. Why do they have to comment on everything that they don't like or that they think you can improve? At the bus stop last week I was reprimanded (or at least I think I was - my Polish isn't that great) because Chris wasn't wearing warm enough clothing, and he might get sick, and if I was a good parent I would think of that, and etc etc. All this from a perfect stranger. Maybe she doesn't understand that you can't always see thermal underwear and that polar fleece (whilst not fashionable) is very warm...

Jola's cousin had her baby today. I don't know all the details yet, but it sounds like everything went according to the doctor's plans. Once we have a nice picture, we will upload it (either to Facebook, or here, or both)
Apparently one of Jola's other cousins also had a baby recently. But we don't have any details about that one yet. (We didn't even know that she was pregnant)

Talking about babies, my sister Belinda had a baby boy just before Christmas, and she called him Samuel Christopher John Wicks. We are a bit perplexed as to why she used the same name as our boy Chris. But are happy all the same. There are photo's of this little one on Facebook.

That's probably enough for now.

Cheers